In Search of Happiness (2.5.2007)

Youth is often envied. But the truth is that when you are young and growing, it mostly means clumsiness, akwardness and being more or less lost all the time. The only reason to envy youth is maybe the ability of enjoying experiences fully, with so little effort and little resources.

We went to spa one day for a swim and sauna. It was quite nice there, an illusion of tropics was almost real, lots of jacuzzis, full sauna world, couple of restaurants. I paid attention to some middle aged and elderly people there: how thoroughly fed up they seemed to be in contrast to the joy and excitement children showed. What a pity: thye were people who seemed to have more money than they needed (can afford a 100€ bottle of champaign any time, dine at finest restaurants, take a whole week of golfing) – but nothing really feels anything. Peope are in search of feelings, happiness, excitement – but never quite get there. And on the other hand: all the happiness can be found when you don´t expect it: back in Hyrynsalmi, we took some firewood, coffee and doughnuts, went to forest, made a fire and had nice little picnic there with so little effort – how excited girls were. Money can not buy that. That´s the trap we put ourselves in: in search of happiness, we develop an illusion it can be gained by money but it can not.

I don´t despise money, though. I like to be able to live without worrying every cent I spend. I also notice that the older I get, money gets a bigger role in my life and that I am not pleased with. I don´t want to live my life and search for happiness with a calculator at hand.

Some religion-salesmen sell their product by promising happiness to the believers – easy and trouble-free life, certainty and definite answers, and so on. I would not buy that. I rather stay in silence and wonder before God than ask anything - nor prepare any answers - this is because God has become a mystery rather than an open book to read, and some of the problems I have had in my life seem to be generated by faith, not solved by it! To me, the essence of faith is not what it gives to me – I don´t want to love gifts more than I love the Giver. Faith is rather a sword that pierces my heart – that is the shadow of faith. I have also mentioned how faith can also be seen as a space rather than e.g. a list of “do´s” and “don´t do´s”- what could be more wrong than that?! The trust and happiness that I, after all, find from the depths of my heart, grow from the convinction, that “eternal life… means a new quality of life, which is begun now and will be consummated in the future, which nothing – not even death – can destroy. Eternal life is about entering into a new quality of life here and now, in the full assurance that this new life will develop and grow.” (Alister McGrath; The Unknown God. Searching for Spiritual fulfilment, pg 108)