Days In Iringa 17.8.2007

Dear friends. In spite of of long silence, I still exist, so does the family, and all is fine. We arrived in Dar es Salaam at the end of June, then drove to hometown Iringa and took the first week or two to start a home again. Then followed four weeks at Riverside Campsite language training course. It was such a good opportunity to get some more practise in Kiswahili. I have to say it was high time to learn some more modern msamiati (vocabulary), e.g. one can not manage every day life any more without barua pepe (email).

I have started my new job, mostly trying to create the needed management routines and re-establish myself at university where I was given a new, spacious office. That I am very grateful about. The next challenge would be to learn to work there and not to bring work to home as I have done all my life - I wonder if that is even possible.

Girls have also updated their former friendships here. The very first weeks were not easy to Pihla, since all her friends were on holiday and traveling, and we found Iringa rather empty and quiet. I could tell she was missing back to Finland a lot. It broke my heart to notice the absence of joy and laughter in her life those days. Everyone who knows Pihla can tell she is always joking ang laughing: that was missing. Now I have seen the spark in her eyes again. Kaisli on the other hand seemed to find her “another me” here: more relaxed, more into books, more into being on her own, not spending all the time in the internet or sending text messages… there we have a child to whom Africa does only good. We all are expecting to have our first weekend campout somewhere in the bush, that is something we have missed a lot.

We also have a new family member, a kitten called Cookie. I have to admit she has become a real indoor pet, who even was allowed to travel with us to Dar es Salaam last week. She has a crush on Jyri: one morning when she noticed we were waking up, she jumped into our bed, completely ignored me and walked over me, put herself at front of Jyri’s face, patted him gently, kissed him, stretched herself carefully and started purring. That I would called shameless flirting!

Weather is getting warmer and warmer every day. Roses are so beautiful in the garden: some pink ones are as big as an adult’s fist. Every week I buy two large bunches of lilies from nearby flower garden – one white and one red to bring some colour and beauty in our sitting room. That luxury is not easily affordable in Finland, but here practically free of charge. Another delight is the vegetable and fruit market in town. As you notice, I have allowed myself to enjoy fully the best Tanzania can offer: ukarimu (hospitality) of people, nature’s richness and beauty, sun and warmth. We were also reminded of the darker side of this country, when Kaisli´s mobile phone was stolen – the real miracle was to get it back next week! I have never heard of any case when one would get a stolen phone back. I still find it hard to believe – but as we should already know, Tanzania is full of surprises.

Kaikuja (13.6.2007)

Vanha talo huokaa yksinäisyyttään. Taas hänet on riisuttu vaatteistaan, tavaroistaan ja ihmisistään. Vain kaiut jäivät jäljelle. Mitä taas tapahtui, minne katosi kaksi vuotta? Nyt seinät ovat yhtä paljaat kuin silloin kun tulimme. Vanha sireeni levittää tuoksuaan puutarhassa, omenapuun oksat nyökyttelevät väsyneesti, kesän ensimmäiset liljat päättivät hyvästellä lähtijät ainoalla osaamallaan tavalla. Menen ja tulen, pakkaan ja siivoan, käyn muistilistaa läpi, huokaan monennenko kerran. Kaisli katselee kauas pois, Pihla suoraan läpi. En kykenisi vastaamaan heille, miksi taas teemme tätä. Eivät he edes kysy. Lapset tekevät lähtöä mummulaan, käyvät viimeisen kerran pitkäkseen vuoteilleen halaamaan ja hyvästelemään sänkynsä. Pidän itseni kiireisenä ja tehokkaana, silti tunnen kuinka jotain painavaa kertyy koko ajan sisälleni, sitä joka on se kaikkein raskain matkatavarani.

Handbag and Other Presents 22.5.2007

Sorry for the long silence in the blogworld – but definitely it has not been silent in the actual world. After Jyri´s last exam, we put the high gear on. He is now driving to Hyrynsalmi, car packed with… who knows what! I have shoveled the books into boxes and should be carrying them to attic. Much harder than any workout. Yesterday we went to our first visit to Eno congregation, 35 km from Joensuu. As some of you may know, our work is supported by Finnish congregations, who channel the support through FELM, our mission agency in Helsinki. We have 5 congregations which is the normal number: Mellunkylä in Helsinki, Kuopio Cathedral, Nilsiä, Hyrynsalmi and Eno. We were welcomed so warmly last night, and came home with bags full of presents, pastries, cloudberries and so. I even got a new Marimekko handbag! I felt so spoiled, somehow even ashamed: we have done nothing to deserve this. And how did they know that I am almost obsessed with handbags and Marimekko. (For my friends in Iringa who know about this: Marimekko manufactures also handbags in olive green safari style! Guess who has one.)

It is known all over the Finland, that people in Carelia is so hospitable – it has become even a stereotype in people´s minds, but it is true! Similar hospitality we have enjoyed in all of our congregations, and it always takes me by surprise. I try to think this is not me or us personally, it is for the work, for Africa, for all this, the larger picture. I feel humble, grateful – I really do, I don´t say this to sound spiritually correct. Thank you so much.

I have had really heavy heart about Pihla. She suddenly turned strongly against our moving to Tanzania. She was okay with it, even eager – and some weeks or couple of months ago she told us this is not a good thing. It has been like a dark cloud hanging there and it has made all the preparations so much harder. Kaisli is returning to Tanzania in her very straightforward style, but Pihla is not. It came to me so strongly yesterday, when I was doing the packing and emptying the bookshelf, and was wondering what she would say when she returns from school and everyhing looks so empty. But to my big surprise: nothing bad happened, no protest, no crying – and instead of that, she became rather impatient and declared that I too want to pack up my toys and books, can we do it now, mom? Also she started having daydreams about going shopping in Iringa (!), going to those little duka´s which are a perfect opposite to every shopping center in Finland… Everything suddenly looked different to her, and I felt like a heavy burden was taken away – all is going to be fine, we survive this moving, we will be happy in Africa again, we don´t need to worry.

Blue barrels (3.5.2007)

I had to take a couple of weeks off from work to start packing up the home. I have finished two barrels by now (120 liters each), it is quite amazing how quickly they are full even if we are as selective as possible. I have quite a clear picture of what we need and what we don´t need out there in Africa, so I don´t have to waste energy of thinking of that – but physically it is really exhausting. I have been running from the basement to the first and second floors and back countless of times, pulled and pushed heavy luggage here and there, broken my nails and get covered by dust – now I just had to put stop to that and shovel things out of sight and decide to continue some other day. I want our home to look like a normal house as long as possible - seeing those blue barrels is an unavoidable reminder about what will soon happen. We have two large wooden boxes and as many as 13 barrels of three different sizes, but I don´t think we need all of them this time. They have served us faithfully and followed as to Tanzania, back to Finland and now they are on duty again. They get more and more battered each time, have an old address covered by paint and new one written once again. No wonder they look rather pitiful by now. They don´t complain, even if they are then forgotten in some attic or cellar for many years before they are needed again.

Jyri has one more exam left for this spring and that keeps him occupied while I am doing all this. Kaisli had her 12th birthday party yesterday, she invited some friends for home-made pizza and cake and then Jyri drove them to movies to see how Mr Bean manages his holiday. Pihla will have her 8th birthday next week, which means another party, this time for about 10 little girls. Kaisli has promised to organize some activities and plays which she is very good at. June is a really busy month in terms of birthdays: my sister, brother, nephew, goddaughter and myself all have our birthdays in June, as well as my parents anniversary – and five of them within four days!

In Search of Happiness (2.5.2007)

Youth is often envied. But the truth is that when you are young and growing, it mostly means clumsiness, akwardness and being more or less lost all the time. The only reason to envy youth is maybe the ability of enjoying experiences fully, with so little effort and little resources.

We went to spa one day for a swim and sauna. It was quite nice there, an illusion of tropics was almost real, lots of jacuzzis, full sauna world, couple of restaurants. I paid attention to some middle aged and elderly people there: how thoroughly fed up they seemed to be in contrast to the joy and excitement children showed. What a pity: thye were people who seemed to have more money than they needed (can afford a 100€ bottle of champaign any time, dine at finest restaurants, take a whole week of golfing) – but nothing really feels anything. Peope are in search of feelings, happiness, excitement – but never quite get there. And on the other hand: all the happiness can be found when you don´t expect it: back in Hyrynsalmi, we took some firewood, coffee and doughnuts, went to forest, made a fire and had nice little picnic there with so little effort – how excited girls were. Money can not buy that. That´s the trap we put ourselves in: in search of happiness, we develop an illusion it can be gained by money but it can not.

I don´t despise money, though. I like to be able to live without worrying every cent I spend. I also notice that the older I get, money gets a bigger role in my life and that I am not pleased with. I don´t want to live my life and search for happiness with a calculator at hand.

Some religion-salesmen sell their product by promising happiness to the believers – easy and trouble-free life, certainty and definite answers, and so on. I would not buy that. I rather stay in silence and wonder before God than ask anything - nor prepare any answers - this is because God has become a mystery rather than an open book to read, and some of the problems I have had in my life seem to be generated by faith, not solved by it! To me, the essence of faith is not what it gives to me – I don´t want to love gifts more than I love the Giver. Faith is rather a sword that pierces my heart – that is the shadow of faith. I have also mentioned how faith can also be seen as a space rather than e.g. a list of “do´s” and “don´t do´s”- what could be more wrong than that?! The trust and happiness that I, after all, find from the depths of my heart, grow from the convinction, that “eternal life… means a new quality of life, which is begun now and will be consummated in the future, which nothing – not even death – can destroy. Eternal life is about entering into a new quality of life here and now, in the full assurance that this new life will develop and grow.” (Alister McGrath; The Unknown God. Searching for Spiritual fulfilment, pg 108)

Malocclusion and permits (27.4.2007)

Yesterday I was at University to give an orientation class to Finnish exchange students who are heading to Africa during next academic year. They were not that many, Africa seems to require some special guts from people and it is not everyone´s piece of cake I suppose. However I was glad for those few who have chosen some African country instead of some other, more familiar or more likely option.

The least pleasant experience lately has been a dentist: I seem to have some malocclusion (check the dictionary!) which needs to be paid some attention to. Finally, since it may explain the muscle tension and I have at mornings. One of the nicest events this week has been the academic dinner which was arranged by theology students. Some of the jokes kept making me laugh even the next day.

This week has also witnessed some exciting and a bit stressful moments in terms of working permits. Lost papers, delays, wrong telephone numbers, and absent people all give their own special taste to events. But we are optimistic now – we must be, since we are supposed to be out of our house by the beginning of July.

Dollhouse News (23.4.2007)

As many of my friends know, I have developed a new hobby in the past year: dollhouses and miniatures. It is a natural continuation of my life-long handicrafts addiction. Not long time ago when I was sitting in a train, an acquaintance happened to walk past and noticed me stitching a detailed dollhouse carpet – and he commented: “Didn´t know you do this “old womens” stuff…” That was a good opportunity to educate him that miniatures are actually a serious hobby called tripitism!

So, yesterday night I did some internet shopping and bought the following: a grand piano, cutlery and crocery, saucepans, a full bathroom set etc. My principle is to make everything by myself – furniture, food, textiles, lampshades and so – however I have also learnt that certain things you just have to buy. If you are interested in seeing some photos, check http://www.freewebs.com/matinlahti